Movie Quotes

All through college a favorite past time of my circle of friends was to repeat useless movie quotes and incorporate them in our daily conversation. Here are some from Stripes and Weird Science:


John Winger:
Come on, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia, it's like going into Wisconsin.
Russell Ziskey:
Well, I got the sh** kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it.
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Russell Ziskey:
Do the words, "act of war," mean anything to you? Huh?
John Winger:
I have a plan.
Russell Ziskey:
Great, Custer had a plan, too.
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Russell Ziskey:
When I was a kid, my father told me, "never hit anyone in anger, unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it."
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John Winger:
Madam, perhaps you'd like to eat your luggage.
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Russell Ziskey:
[I]f I get killed, my blood is on your hands.
John Winger:
Just don't get it on my shoes, okay?
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Russell Ziskey:
What happens if I refuse to get on the bus?
Louise:
Oh, you look like a sensitive, intelligent guy. Don't make me shoot you.
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John Winger:
So we're all dogfaces, we're all very, very different. But, there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid-enough to enlist in the army.
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Russell Ziskey:
You're gonna finish basic training!
John Winger:
Oh yeah?
Russell Ziskey:
You're gonna keep your mouth shut!
John Winger:
Oh yeah?
Russell Ziskey:
And, you're gonna do everything he tells you!
John Winger:
Oh yeah?
Russell Ziskey:
And, you know why?!
John Winger:
Why?
Russell Ziskey:
Because you talked me into this! That's why, you idiot!
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Howard J. Turkster:
I joined the army 'cause my father and brother were in the army. I though I'd better join before I got drafted.
Sgt. Hulka:
Son, uh, there ain't no draft no more.
Howard J. Turkster:
There was one?
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Soldier:
Boxer or jockey?
John Winger:
Got something in a low-rise bikini, mesh, if possible?
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Russell Ziskey:
How many of you would say you speak English fairly well, but with some difficulty? A little English? Yes, you speak some English.
Student:
Son-of-bitch. Sh**.
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John Winger:
We're soldiers, but we're American soldiers! We've been kicking a-- for 200 years! We're 10-and-1!
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John Winger:
I've got to dry-out or I'll be dead before I'm 30. The army is my only chance.
Russell Ziskey:
You could join a monastery.
John Winger:
Did you ever see a monk get wildly-****** by some teenage girls?
Russell Ziskey:
Never.
John Winger:
So much for the monastery.
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John Winger:
Gentlemen, it's party time, battalion style!
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Sgt. Hulka:
[I]'m gonna teach every last one of ya, how to: eat, sleep, walk, talk, shoot, sh**; like a United States' soldier!
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John Winger:
There's something wrong with us! Something very, very wrong with us! Something seriously wrong with us!
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John Winger:
I don't think I've ever been this happy.
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John Winger:
That's my philosophy: a hundred dollar shine and a three dollar pair of boots.

CAST
John Winger (Bill Murray)
Russell Ziskey (Harold Ramis)
Louise (Sean Young)
Sgt. Hulka (Warren Oates)
Howard J. Turkster (John Diehl)


WEIRD SCIENCE The Quotes



Gary: You know, I can't believe this, Wyatt. I'm so disappointed in us. I mean, all our lives we've been saying how great it would be if we went to parties, right? And now it's our party and we're in the john. We're in the john!

Gary: We're in.
Wyatt: We're in trouble Gary. This is highly illegal.
Gary: We need more input. We gotta fill this thing up with data. We gotta make her as real as possible, Wyatt. I want her to live. I want her to breathe. I want her to aerobicize.

Gary: Mom, I never toss off to anything!
Mom: [crying] You told me you were combing your hair!
Gary: But I was, I was!

Wyatt: Gary, by the way, why are we wearing bras on our heads?
Gary: Ceremonial.

Lisa: So, what would you little maniacs like to do first?

Lisa: You okay?
Gary: Well, my nuts are halfway up my a--, but other than that, I'm perfect!


Gary: Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet, detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria.

Chet Donnelly: I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad everything. I'm even considering makin' up some sh--!

Gary: I want to see her aerobicize.

Lisa: If you ever get the chance, shower with them. I did. Mmm, it's a mind scrambler. Hurts so good.

Chet Donnelly: How 'bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?

Chet Donnelly: You two donkey-dicks couldn't get laid in a morgue.

Gary: This isn't my car. This isn't my suit. Those weren't even my friends.
Hilly: Why are you telling me this?
Gary: Because I want you to like me for what I am.
Hilly: Whatever you are, I like it.